Cash for Codgers

Hi all,
I know this was supposed to be Econ 201, but let's consider an intermission. Since the government thinks Cash for Clunkers was a success and the Health Care reform is a lead balloon, they are trying to combine the two to get health reform passed - from my good (retired) friend Ed:

Nice to know there is something new for us now that the anti-seniors part of Bama's Healthcare Deform program isn't being widely accepted.

Democrats, realizing the success of the Obama's "Cash For Clunkers" rebate program, have revamped a major portion of their National Health Care Plan.

President Obama, Speaker Pelosi, and Sen. Reed are expected to
make this major announcement at a joint news conference later this week. I have obtained an advanced copy of the proposal which is named....

"CASH FOR CODGERS" and it works like this... Couples wishing to access health care funds in order to pay for the delivery of a child will be required to turn in one old person. The amount the government grants them will be fixed according to a sliding scale. Older and more prescription dependent codgers will garner the highest amounts.

Special "Bonuses" will be paid for those submitting codgers in targeted groups, such as smokers, alcohol drinkers, persons 10 pounds over their government prescribed weight, and any member of the Republican Party.

Smaller bonuses will be given for codgers who consume beef, soda, fried foods, potato chips, lattes, whole milk, dairy products, bacon,Brussels sprouts, or Girl Scout Cookies.

All codgers will be rendered totally useless via toxic injection. This will ensure that they are not secretly resold or their body parts harvested to keep other codgers in repair.

Editor's note: Notice that they waived the legal requirement of an environmental impact statement first because that would just slow things down!